My Dear John Letter

Dear Pretty Blue Bottle of Skyy Vodka and Dekuyper's Apple Pucker,

I enjoyed the Appletinis you produced those few nights we went to the bar. It gave me a sense of change, something OTHER than beer. So I thought it would be cool to mix you two up last night and make some of my own to help celebrate board game night. I thought this would be the beginning of a new relationship, of rekindling my past relationship with vodka.

I thought wrong! Not a good idea to make those Appletinis my ONLY drink of choice for the evening as I don't remember anything beyond falling down Casey's stairs and vaguely hearing Steve and Spaz talk about how drunk I was on the way home.

So this is my breakup letter with you. We got into a fight and you won. I know see that it was only a one night stand and that I will never be able to drink you or even think about you without gagging again.

I have been ridiculously hung over for pretty much the past twelve hours. I slept for the majority of the day when I was puking and I now remember exactly why I STOPPED drinking vodka. My throat hurts, my body hurts, my head hurts - even my hair hurts. And my ass is killing me because there is a massive bruise on it from when it hit the stairs on the way down.

So never again, my friends. It was fun while it lasted. I'm going back to beer and the memory of our night together will always - well, will always be elusive as I can't even remember how I got to bed last night.

Sincerely,
Sunday Hangover